16 January 2007

Twenty-Four Hour Shopping...Rapture

It's 1 AM and I just returned home from grocery shopping (god bless the 24-hour Megalomart).

It's no secret that I need to go to sleep. I went to the grocery store for some sleep tabs. Did I get them? No. They were out of the ones that I wanted. Mind you, they had something called Kalms, but I couldn't buy them because I distrust any product (or establishment, for that matter) that feels that substituting a K for a C is a responsible solution to branding. In case you're wondering, it's not.

I went for one thing...one thing.

Instead of sleep tabs, I got:
  • 6 Bottles of Still Water
  • Alaskan Salmon Filets
  • Venison Steaks
  • Asparagus Tips
  • Red Bell Peppers
  • 18 Rolls of Toilet Tissue (half price!)
  • Cherries
  • Dried Fruit
  • Pineapple Chunks
  • Blackberries
  • Organic Blueberries
  • Sweet Potatoes
  • Macadamia Nuts
  • Rare-Breed, naturally pastel-colored Eggs
  • Goat's Milk Yogurt
  • Potato Chips (Mature Cheddar and Caramelized Onion)
  • Distilled Vinegar
  • Organic Brown Sugar
  • 2 Pains Au Chocolat
  • 1 Pecan Plait
  • A Cutlery Tray, Dish Drainer and Laundry Hamper
  • A Nail Cleaner and Compact Mirror
  • 2 Shoe Boxes (with lids)
  • A Clothes Airer
  • A BouclĂ© Door Mat
  • and
  • 5 Bags for Life (plastice, reusble, bags that Tesco will replace for life for free)
I went for one thing.

For some weird reason I am reminded of Johnny Depp in that episode of 21 Jump Street where his girlfriend gets shot during a convenience store robbery and he obsesses over the number of things that he can do in the same amount of time it took the whole thing to happen. I'm obessed with the number of hours, minutes, seconds of sleep that I can get if I go to bed right now or, in turn, all of things that I could accomplish in that same amount of time. Would that I knew how to plaster and wallpaper. Or sew. How I wish now that I'd bought the Rosetta Stone DVDs - I'd be nigh to fluent in Italian by now.

Later today my sister-in-law and I are accompanying my mother-in-law to her pre-op appointment. She told me a week ago today that she has breast cancer. She found the lump before Christmas, but didn't tell us until then because she didn't want to ruin the holidays.

Mothers always do stuff like that.

It's knowledge that keeps a body awake, that's for sure.


thepuppyfairy said...

We should have been allowed a fudge brownie for putting up with mum all day hehe.

Black Purl said...

You Crack me up!!