11 January 2007

Insomniac Theatre

It's 4 A.M. and I'm awake and listening to the wind howl through the trees and the rain whip against my windows.

I'm awake and don't know if it's insomnia or jet lag or a combination of the two. All I know is that there's nothing on T.V., it's too early (literally) to start drinking and I don't have the ingredients to make beef wellington, so I'm at loose ends.

Being at loose ends isn't unusual for me these days. For the last 7 months I have been lamenting the fact that I haven't really had much to do. Well, it's high time I took matters into my own hands.

Tuesday at my knitting group I asked a friend to help me with my Curriculum Vitae (CV), which is the European version of a résumé, so that I can start putting it out. It was a pretty big step. I've been telling people (and myself, really) that my CV has been in the works almost since I got here, but looking at a hard copy of my old resume (and the résumés of a couple of former co-workers) doesn't actually count as working on my CV - that much I know.

I also asked that same friend if she wanted to do some card making and scrapbooking together. In a place where most people are very insular and already well-established in their social circles, I've found it much harder than normal to make friends. This is unusual for me. I'm comfortable with my own company; I don't mind having time to read or watch a movie in peace (I do so hate it when people talk during a movie), but one can only do nothing by one's self for just so long before seppuku begins to sounds like a viable option. I miss my friends. I miss having friends. The only company I have most of the time is my cat. Look, I'm not faulting Zoe, it's not that she isn't great company - she's sweet and funny, easily amused by insects and purrs when she eats (part of the being funny thing) - she just isn't much of a talker. Which is both a good and a bad thing, I guess, but it does strain the relationship. I'd like to be able to go out of a Saturday afternoon, visit with someone who isn't related (even if just by marriage) to me.

Being bored here is partly (okay, mostly) my own fault. I've been doing less than I could, and certainly less than I should. I need to do something with the veritable cornucopia of time that I have on my hands and no one, honestly, can do anything about that but me.

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