Me: Can you please tell me where I can find the ice?
Store Clerk: Frozen ice?
Me (pauses for one beat, waits for it to sink in, when it doesn't): Yes.
You are so proud of me.
That took an immense amount of control for me not to fall out laughing, right there, in the store, with everyone watching.
To the poor boy who helped me, it's okay, sweetie, I've had that day.